A few weeks ago, we discussed the results of an online study that sought to rank each U.S. state by how often divorces there are amicable. Ohio ranked ninth, making it one of just 10 states the study described as “amicable.”
Divorce can be a high-stakes competition between the spouses, if that is what one or both of them want. But it does not have to be this way. If both sides agree that the marriage must end, they may be able to work together to peacefully and quickly reach a settlement on property division, child custody and so forth. It may even be possible to stay friends after divorce, if only because the exes are still raising children together.
An article by the Canton Repository asks some divorced Ohio couples how they were able to go through this often difficult process relatively smoothly. Two people interviewed noted that there was no dramatic betrayal, such as infidelity, that caused their divorces. They just grew apart from their spouses.
In one case, the wife was a politician and community activist, things in which the husband was not interested. In another case, the couple was married for 30 years before splitting up. They simply “wanted different things,” the ex-husband said. Fortunately, they have been able to put their negative feelings behind them and become friends.
Even when things are somewhat tense in the beginning, which is natural, it is sometimes possible to build a new, platonic relationship later on. Another Ohio woman recalled feeling angry and raw after her divorce, but eventually, she and her husband were able to forgive each other.
This may continue to be the exception rather than the rule, even in Ohio. Still, few people want their divorce to be angry, contentious and drawn-out. Being able to at least sit in the same room and negotiate a divorce settlement.